A Simple Solution

To Prevent the Government of the United States of America

from Making a Mockery of its Reputation or of the Country

and to Make Themselves Beneficial to the Public

It is a sad thing to those who travel through this great country, when they see the streets, the roads, and the squares, crowded with citizens from all walks of life, followed by three, four, or six protesting posters, all in different colors and importuning every passerby for support. These citizens, instead of being able to work for a greater good, are forced to expend all their time in circles and crowds protesting for "their rights."

I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of people, gaudily painted, are representing the deplorable state of our country. Therefore whoever can find a suitable means to meet both sides' objectives might become a hero worthy of praise.

As to my own part, having thought on this for a whole five minutes about this important subject, and maturely weighed the virtues of several plots, have found that most are inane and mistaken in their expeditions. The uselessness of protesting can be seen to be inadequate in a system that grants no one support. However, I neither you, can distract them from their "higher purpose." I propose to not only solve this excruciating problem, but also, on the contrary to contribute to the feeding, nurturing and partly to the helpful of the many thousands of medial and imperial influences.

I shall now humbly propose my own thoughts on this important subject, which I hope will alleviate the pain of the subject of protestation against the United States of America.

I have been assured by a very knowing and intelligent child of my acquaintance in Whoknowswhere, that by focusing the media on the whereabouts of our governments' incursions and subjugation is a successful way to confuse the people about their protestations. Therefore eliminating all these noisy and inhumane mobs that argue for the right of the people. I do therefore humbly offer this to congressional consideration that of the hundreds of infringements of rights that they have committed be hereby voided and in return venture into the nearest warring country to offer support for "their democratic rights." By doing so the government can successfully turn the protests for rights and the caustic infringement upon the fifth to a galvanization of support for the soldiers abroad.

This is a touchy subject understandably as Congress cannot be in agreement for more than two minutes at a time before erupting into some scandal. The elected "Representative" of the outer borders can at times be mold-able and easily "influenced" to agree to such a cause as eliminating the amount of outcry for justice regarding infringement on rights.

By using the media to cover up scandals and other American misdeeds, Congress can increase its influence in other parts of the world. This is especially beneficial because in similarity to the communists, spreading our country's ideas can ensure that they last for the ages to come.

Secondly, by influencing the media and other areas of reading, Congress can in turn expand the reach of Democracy. By using the media, which reaches all corners of the world, Congress can more easily convince the diverse people of the world that their views are wrong and America's views are the best.

Thirdly, by promoting wars in other countries, the United States can foster their own economy. By taking "influences" from corporations and other "homeland defense" companies, the economy can grow. When the slightly monopolistic corporations control most of the arms market little is in their way from controlling the entire market and subsequently the government. However Congress can prevent this last point by increasing its pay and decreasing the pay of soldiers. This will not only solve the problem of corporate takeover of the government but also in turn protester's energy would be allocated elsewhere towards bring the troops money, supplies, and food.

Although this would cause the three branches of the government to become unequal, shifting power, this would cause there to be one supporting branch that can mediate the other branches. This is a much better solution because Congress, the Executive and Judicial branches have never ever been in agreement whatsoever since 1776, and even then there was minimal agreement.

Also by invading and purposefully embargoing countries, the United States can do nothing to influence its ideas. It should instead take the advice of previous chair holders and possibly redo the affairs that introduced the Iran-Contra and the CIA–Al-Qaeda controversy. Especially Al-Qaeda controversy, which received American funding to fight against the Soviets, who mind you were going against American ideals, and then in turn ending up fighting against the American ideals itself. This prompted the United States to invade in an attempt to fix the problem that it created.

This is a prime example of how the United States successfully employed my proposal. By discretely starting another war, the United States brought attention to the reaches of Soviets and in turn eliminated the homeland threat of the NSA, which in 2001 began its domestic spying, when the US cut off the CIA from training the Jihad.

I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motives than the public and worldly good of my country, by advancing our influence, providing for an increase in governmental reaches, relieving the public of its interest on their personal rights, and giving pleasure to the representatives and corporations. I have no ideas besides those of Patriotism by which I can propose to benefit from this; the most of my ideas have been given to me by the best government and I feel simply satisfied.

Works Cited: Swift, Jonathan. "A Modest Proposal." Bedford/Martin's. ed. 3. 2014